The Debate About SBC Ruling Exposed The Real Disease

If you are aware of the SBC debate, you may want to skip the section called “Backstory,” although it shares my part in posting about the new ruling.

Backstory

Before I get into it, here is a little backstory for those who are unaware of what has been going on over the last two weeks. I posted something on my social media about how the SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) was voting on whether women could be called and function as pastors. In the past, they left that up to the individual churches. And the interpretation of the proposed amendment in June 2026 would be so vague that women could be out of line for commenting on Scripture on a podcast. (For the sake of focus here, I won’t repeat myself. You can read more about it here.)

1. My first post had to do with addressing the abusers in the pulpit before the women in the pulpit. It was strongly worded. I am passionate about how leaders in religious systems cover up abuse because of my history and those I minister to. The systemic problem of abuse by pastors is being called a hoax by both candidates for SBC Presidents.

I didn’t know that post would trigger so many people. I thought, how did people even find me? My social media accounts are small, almost no one comments, and hardly anyone likes my posts. (Thank goodness my mom does.)

2. I had more free time than usual, so I spent a couple of days researching and writing a Substack post about what I discovered regarding how the word “pastor” is translated, applied, and demonstrated throughout Scripture. I loved that time, felt really good about what I wrote, and was excited to continue studying the Scriptures.

To my surprise, I triggered more people.

3. I posted after the SBC vote was passed. I talked about how it also follows the injustice we’ve seen in our country when the ones being oppressed can’t vote or don’t have all the correct information to vote otherwise. I stated again how I think this will hurt the women who have been abused, which is my main focus.

I thought I was being logical and making a good point. I triggered more people.

It wasn’t my hope to trigger anyone. Women had been writing me, scared, upset, and triggered by past abuse. I am an advocate; this is what we do.

I tried to keep up with comments and respond to everyone, even my critics. There was a mix of positive and negative replies. That’s fair. I stand by what I said.

I even tried to post something lighthearted and remind people I’m of no influence, I am not powerful enough to destroy Christianity—let’s take a breath here. I tried to use humor. I’m sure you can imagine, it was like a fire out of control, and that didn’t smite it. So since I couldn’t delete comments fast enough, I turned them off. And got criticized for that too.

When we post on social media, the responses are part of the deal. Good or bad, it doesn’t mean anything about me, you, or anyone else. It can show humanity’s best side or worst side. I’m not a victim. But it’s also my space, so I can manage it as I see fit.

My thought: Shake the dust off my feet, move on.

Ok, so that’s the backstory. You’re caught up. Get your seatbelt on.

Spiritual Abuse

Then I went back to my regular programming. I posted about spiritual abuse. I said nothing about the SBC or women being pastors. This isn’t just a one-denomination issue. Here is a screenshot.

You probably guessed it faster than I did.

SO MANY REBUKING COMMENTS! Like over a thousand left before I even woke up the next day.

I had no idea I was a feminist, Marxist, rebellious, idiot, jezebel, unbiblical, stupid, and emotional woman who doesn’t read her Bible, uses clickbait, is trying to make money, sell books, and needs to submit to her husband (I didn’t have the heart to tell them I’m single, so I can only go to God.), and worst of all that I was going to hell. I’m so glad they told me! Phew, good thing I have brothers in Christ who care about me to lead me to the love of God.

I just can’t understand why my unsaved friends who follow me and my work don’t like Christians or Christianity.

I know … where was my husband to keep me from posting? One of the drawbacks in my life. But my father approved, and since some would think I’m under his authority, there you go. :)

If my humor bothers you, you may want to stop reading. That’s okay. But the following is definitely not funny.

Comment about Comments

Like me, women all over the internet were being called terrible things. I think one of the most repeated, laziest comments was that we were being emotional. It’s an interesting social experiment: when a woman is strong, stands her ground, and shares her opinion, she’s emotional.

A woman sent me a private message. She said that my post was shared in a private group for the Southern Baptists. She said, “Some of them are getting really heated about it.” That sounds like, dare I say it, emotions?

I read plenty of comments by men who felt it appropriate to berate women who were posting about the issue. Why is it that when a woman addresses disrespectful remarks, they are being emotional, snarky, or catty? This is like being shamed for standing up to a bully. The focus shifts from what the bully said to how the victim reacted. Classic gaslighting.

If this is really about keeping true to the Scriptures, then why the hateful, condescending, misogynistic comments? Wouldn’t you want to restore that person with gentleness? Does God need people to do that to protect His word? Of course not. Civil discourse and debate are healthy. But what I saw across social media was demonic. Yes, I said it.

Here are the milder comments I’ve seen:

• “If you don’t like it, take it up with God.”
• “You’re the kind of woman Paul was speaking to when he said be quiet.”
• “Read your Bible.”
• “Calm down.”
• “You are a little fool.”
• “Bye b*tch*s”

Here are some receipts: (some were by men, others were women, and one was a church)

Considering the thousands of comments, I did hold back. However, I want to tell on myself. I sometimes responded with what I thought was wit, but I was later convicted that my heart was more like “Take that.” I learned it WAS better to be silent. I went back and changed or deleted those responses. I’m sorry I took the bait. I think. Maybe I’m proud of myself for not tolerating spiritual abuse.

I am thankful for the smattering of uplifting comments—not just from those who agreed with me, but also from those who disagreed yet wanted to communicate respectfully. That was intellectually stimulating, and some of us really got something out of it.

I’m friends with SBC pastors and leaders. I had one pastor ask if he could use a quote from my research in his thesis. Another asked me to be on his podcast. Another told me how sorry he was that men were being cruel, and they do not reflect all pastors—so true. And they are complementarians.

Men and women all over the internet were also supporting one another. Defending an author in the comments against bullies. There were some beautiful moments of seeing God at work in a time of persecution.

Slippery Slopes

I do try to listen to both sides.

Some men are saying this SBC amendment to prohibit women pastors is to keep liberal women from starting or leading churches that affirm LGBTQ. My pushback—If that is true, then make an amendment about that instead of limiting all faithful, educated, and Godly women.

The other side?

Women are concerned about this being the first step to this: There are men (pastors) who think we should repeal the 19th Amendment of our Constitution because women are emotional and lead to liberalism, causing our nation to decline. Reformed pastor Dale Partridge says he doesn’t think women have the emotional capacity to vote, and that the head of the household should cast it. Doug Wilson, a pastor, said Americans have embraced “the lie of individualism,” which hurts families.

I’ve seen and experienced it … it’s not an isolated, never-gonna-happen, rogue issue. It’s here. Now.

To be clear, I am not a feminist and LOVE a man who leads well. A woman’s nervous system relaxes when she knows her man “has got it.” I’m pro-dude and healthy masculinity! I’m also conservative.

I believe and dare I say have a prophetic sense that this issue is a big deal in the Kingdom of God. I often feel it before I see it. By then, it’s too late. So, call me a crazy heretic or whatever, but this is a warning that we, as a body of Christ, must unite and get as many laborers into the harvest as possible. Do not limit them in any way.

I think this SBC amendment is a Trojan horse. Time will tell.

Ungodly Men in Current Leadership

I didn’t think I could be more shocked. Until …

A SENIOR PASTOR posted an open letter to Southern Baptists. In just one piece of his statement, he said,

WHAT?

I thought we were the body of Christ? Every part is significant.

I Corinthians 12:21-26 (ESV) says:

“The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable, we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.”

Of the comments I saw, no one rebuked or corrected him. He was applauded. Where are the voices saying this is not okay?

This is a disqualifying character of an overseer/elder based on the same verses used to disqualify women pastors. (1 Tim 3).

This attitude and belief system is the disease in the Church. This is why the abused leave and never come back. This is why people leave the faith entirely. How will the comment section ever change if this is what leadership declares?

I’m sick. My spirit grieves. Here I am, Lord, send me. I’m raising my hand right now. This is not okay. Show me how to be a part of the healing your body needs.

Next Steps

So, what is the real need for Southern Baptists (and probably others)?

The men designated to oversee the church need to teach and disciple the men how to treat and speak to their sisters and brothers in Christ. More than that, they need to address the heart issues that cause this, for out of the mouth the heart speaks.

They need to correct their own. From the pulpit and on social media, it needs to be said that what was communicated over the last two weeks (or decades) dishonors God, disobeys Scripture, and hurts the Church whom Jesus loves.

Put down the debate over whether the amendment is Biblical. Put down the celebrations. Address the sickness in the body of Christ.

I’ll give you some ideas:

To the people who were condescending and dismissive of the thoughts, concerns, or emotions of women—Stop acting as if God didn’t make emotions, be kind, listen, and learn how to manage your own outbursts.

To the people who criticize a woman’s replies to bullies and their rude and misogynistic comments—stop blaming-shifting and gaslighting. Their response to your verbal abuse is not the issue.

To the people who say, “Well, they did this first …” —Stop responding like a child and be the man (or woman) God called you to be.

To the people who have said unspeakable things—Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say if Jesus were standing right there with you. Have a fear of the Lord. Act like He is an omnipresent God.

To the person who uses the Bible as a weapon—Stop acting like being mean is a fruit of the Spirit. Repent and pray to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

Conclusion

I’m learning what it looks like to be brave and approved in the sight of Almighty God. I have a prophetic gift that has been proven in times like these, so being quiet is not how God made me. I will continue to try to communicate with wisdom—although I’m sure I’ll miss it from time to time. I know not everyone will like what I have to say, and since that is likely, I ask for your prayers.

A complementarian would agree that a woman should let the man defend her. I am putting out a clarion call to all the men. We need you to speak up now, not soon, not later, not when it fits your sermon series. As we remember Deborah and Esther, women God used when men did not speak up or stand up. I pray this is not one of those times.

Let us pray for one another. Love one another. Be kind to one another.

God bless,

Not Pastor Jill

(I couldn’t help it. Come on, I’m funny.)

A reminder for all of us:

Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Matthew 12:36 “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,”

James 1:26 “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.”

Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

Proverbs 10:19 “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

Psalm 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”

Proverbs 21:23 “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”

Colossians 3:8 “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”

Proverbs 11:12 “Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.”

Join the comment section on Substack.