How to Forgive When It Hurts
I was getting a massage and face down on the table when the therapist said, “Whatever this is, you need to let it go.” I knew immediately what she meant. But how would I stop holding on to the hurt I felt by such a betrayal?
I loved him, and he said he loved me. He was a pastor. How could he be dating someone else behind my back? How could he be making future plans with me and a few days later change his Facebook status to “in a relationship,” and it’s not with me!?
I just wanted to know why.
God spoke to my spirit, “Jill, forgiveness is not needing to know why.”
I think God was trying to tell me that I wasn’t going to understand. And having more information wasn’t going to change what he did or heal my heart. It was between me and the Lord now.
So, at that moment, as tears flowed from my eyes straight to the floor of that soothing spa atmosphere, I forgave that man. I had to forgive him for what he did, how it made me feel, and the consequences I was left to deal with because of his actions.
But the last step God asked of me was really challenging. I had to bless him. I must have prayed that well because he married that lady and had six kids.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you know some of the people I’ve had to forgive, and that is a core teaching of the ministry. It’s because I know the POWER of forgiveness. (I’m still learning.)
God wants to bless us with the experience of HIS LOVE.
We enter into the power of forgiveness and what Jesus did on the cross when we lean into Him when we have been hurt, betrayed, cheated, ridiculed, slandered, or wronged in some way.
Jesus understands and forgives us for doing those things to Him, too. What love is this that He would give us what we don’t deserve? A love so great that it wipes away our sin and makes us a new creation? Our past can’t accuse us because He loves us. Our struggles can’t discredit us because He loves us. Our future is secure because He loves us.
A pastor reached out to me and asked if he could use my teaching on forgiveness for his message. He shared how powerful it was for him to pray the prayer I wrote. I was so touched by his humility when I heard his sermon, which included his testimony of how long it took him to work through forgiving his abuser. You can find his entire message on YouTube.
My pain and opportunities for forgiveness have not been wasted. None of our trials are left at the altar without God saying, “That is a sweet-smelling sacrifice; thank you for coming to me.” We can truly be transformed when we forgive. And it will impact way more people than you realize.
“… bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Col 3:13
Prayer:
God, today I choose to forgive ____ for ____. Because when they did that, it made me feel _____. I release and submit all my feelings to You. I forgive them for the consequences I still have in my life because of their actions. I release them from all my expectations, and because of what Jesus did on the cross, I declare they owe me nothing. I ask that you show them mercy and bless them with _____. (Tip: Bless them in the opposite way they hurt you … if they stole money, pray they are blessed with abundance.) In Jesus’ name, amen.
This post was originally a devotional sent exclusively to my email list. (If you want to receive future devotionals, please join my email list.)
